Father’s Day…this day used to give me the heebie jeebies. Panic attacks. Nightmares. This day, a lot of bad things happened. It was the day my dad took advantage of me more than usual because it was “his day.” I always dread Father’s Day. It wasn’t until last year when I realized that Father’s Day is just a day. It doesn’t have to have any meaning if I don’t want it to. I started taking care of myself on this day instead of dreading it. Do something nice for myself: go to a park, take a self-care day and rest…the options are endless.
I used to restrict and punish myself on this day because I felt like I wasn’t deserving due to all of the bad things that happened to me. After a lot of therapy and some self-realizations, I can now see that I do deserve good things. One of those good things include not punishing myself for a day that was out of my control. I now look forward to this day because it shows me how much I have grown. It shows me my strength and my perseverance. My resiliency. During my growth, it was hard. It IS hard…but I’m still doing it. I’m still choosing every day to rise above. You can too.
This year is the first year on Father’s Day where I finally feel at peace.
Being a single mom, I started celebrating myself this day. I do the job of both a mom and a dad. I deserve it. If you’re a single mom, I encourage you to celebrate today too. I see you. Your work does not go unnoticed. Being a single mom is hard. Being a single dad is hard. I hope you take some time to do something nice for yourself today. Today, I am choosing to rest. I worked 3rd shift and so I’m exhausted. I’m choosing to spend time with the one who made me a mom/dad.
I wrote something in my book along the lines of how Father’s Day can be celebrating our Heavenly Father as well. It doesn’t have to be an earthly father. I know this day can be hard if your earthly father is no longer with us, you’ve had bad experiences with fathers, you don’t have a father, etc. I encourage you to please take some time for yourself today. Reach out to a trusted person in your life to talk to. Vent to. Cry. Scream if you have to. It’s okay.
You are not alone. I know it feels like that sometimes but I promise you you’re not. Your feelings are valid.