It takes a village

It takes a village…

The saying “it takes a village…” has been coming up a lot for me. Recently, Greyson’s daycare class has been closing randomly due to COVID and I have had to rely on a lot of my friends to help me watch him during this uncertain time. I have always been one to struggle with asking for help. Throughout the years, asking for help has gotten easier–especially after having a kid. However, it is still very uncomfortable for me. When I was picking Greyson up from my friend’s house this week, the saying “it takes a village” came to my mind. Ever since moving to Tennessee, I have had to work on creating my support system here. I have made friends who have become family, had jobs that have been very flexible and supportive, and found a church who has welcomed me with open arms. It takes a village to raise a child. I cannot do it on my own.

When thinking of the saying “it takes a village,” I thought about my own recovery. Not only does it take a village to raise a child, but it also takes a village to continue in active recovery. My village consists of my therapist, dietitian, close friends, and those who pray for me daily. I cannot do recovery without them…I have tried. When I try to be in recovery without my “village,” I slip backwards quickly. I isolate myself and tend to become very depressed. Life is not meant to be done alone. It takes a village to overcome the struggles and addictions we all face.

I remember when I first talked about my abuse. I would try to isolate because I didn’t think anyone would understand. I was grieving my childhood, grieving my dad being taken away, and thinking everything was my fault. When I started dancing, I found a community that helped me through the dark times. I was a part of a youth group and began opening up to people. Throughout the years, I realized that my village has changed. The people who were in my village a few years ago are not the same people in my village now (some may be, but the majority is not). That’s normal. In life, we go through different seasons.

I have recently found a community at my church who push me to be the best person I can be. I have a few close friends who have been there for me at my worst and there for me at my best. When I struggle, I have people I can reach out to. I have people who want to see me succeed and who tell me the uncomfortable things I may not want to hear. I have people who have my best interest at heart. I have people who love Greyson as their own. My village may be small, but my village is mighty.

I encourage you to find your village. Find your people who can help you find your purpose. Find your people who encourage you. Life isn’t meant to be done alone. Recovery isn’t meant to be done alone. There are people out there who love you and want to see you succeed.

-M